Tuesday, December 2

you can't fix what's already spoiled.

WARNING: spoilers.

I know this is supposed to be a fashion blog, but since it's my blog, I can write whatever I want, and today I want to write about how terrible the movie "Twilight" was.
I'll be the first to admit that I was hesitant about reading "Twilight" or seeing the movie because of the obsessive tween craze associated with it. However, after my 27-year-old sister demanded that I read the whole series during Thanksgiving break so that we could see the movie together, I thought hey why not? I don't even have to tell anyone if it's really that bad. And you know what? I was surprised. Twilight was amazing! I can't say the same for the rest of the series (the other books were just okay), but the first book is definitely worth reading. But be prepared: YES, its a romance geared towards teenage girls. Yes, it is at times annoying naive and innocent. Yes, you probably do deserve Edwards more than Bella. No, it's not likely that after reading the book you will magically have a vampire encounter (I woke up this morning infuriated and abashed that I was able to hold down breakfast and had no unbearable cravings for blood). That said, read the book now, thank me later.
I did finished the books and we did go see the movie, and ladies and gentlemen I am despaired to tell you that it was terrible! Now, I'll be honest, I am biased against movies made from books. The translation is almost always terrible (exception: The Princess Bride, love it!), the movie never does the story justice (exception: A Walk to Remember - the movie was actually better than the book), and I just can't handle it when what I see on screen differ so greatly from what's in my head (sup, Harry Potter?). But I went into this movie with those facts in mind, forcing myself to make the best of it.
This book had so much potential: the plot line was simple, the characters were distinct and unique, and the dialog was practically already in script form.
I was so disappointed.
I'll start with the cast. Not what I had in mind, not who I would have picked, but still not bad (minus Eric: in the book he was an acne-ridden chess geek, yet the movie portrayed him as a charming journalist played devastatingly gorgeous Korean actor Justin Chon). Most of the lines were delivered convincingly (though I'll come back to the lines themselves), and the actors seemed to do what the could with what they were given. I watched a couple of interviews, and I'll be honest, the secondary character actors all seemed much cooler than the two primary actors. Robert Pattinson (Edward) seemed kind of arrogant and out of touch in his interviews, and Kristen Stewart (Bella) looked like she was either high or bored. I will admit, Pattinson looked rather dashing in the prom scene, but for most of the movie, the Cullen gang just didn't look as gorgeous at the book promised.
The shooting, ahh the shooting. Every shot was the same. The colors seemed all wrong and the movement was off. Some scenes were unnecessarily long while incredibly important ones seemed too short. And with all of the money this movie grossed (what was it, 30 mil in the first day?) I think you guys could have afforded slightly better special effects.
The characters' depths weren't captured like they should've been, and the relationships seemed all wrong. The interaction between Bella and Edward was weird and confusing, their romance seemed rushed and shallow. The movie left out vital points in the book and added unnecessary scenes (The field trip? What was that? It didn't even make sense). Secondary characters like Mike, Jessica, Tyler, and Angela had their significance taken away so fiercely that I wondered why they even left them in the movie.
And Catherin Hardwicke? Really? The woman directed "Thirteen," probably one of the worst movies ever made. It only took her six weeks to write the script, and if you see the movie you'll understand how. It was so terrible. All she had to do was pull out major plot points and memorable lines from the book, but she couldn't even do that. She had to add irrelevant (not to mention peculiar) scenes and details, taking away from the beautiful shape and composition of the book's story. Oh, how I mourn for you, Ms. Meyers, for your work of art was smashed with a hammer and put back together with chicken feathers* and glitter glue. And the dialog, oh dear. It was corny, jumbled, it made no sense! Important lines from the book were changed, and for what reason? Why change the heart-stabbing line Bella gives her father as she storms from the house, leaving for Arizona? The one that replaced it was not nearly as effective or gut-wrenching. And why leave out all of the dazzling lines that Edward delivers that makes Bella (and more importantly, us) love him so, when that would've filled the heart of every 13-15 year old girl in the theater.
I could go on (and on and on) but I should probably stop before I sound like a resentful bitch (too late?).
Overall? You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.

*a little joke for those of you who made it to breaking dawn


Anonymous said...

Hey... Look... I was just searching for a picture of Twilight in Google, then I find this bitchy article. DO you seriously think that you can bravely say this out loud in front of all the Twilight fans in the world? I guess NOT!!! AFter reading my comment, I know that you'll be like "WHat the fuckin'?"
Hey... but let me tell you this.
I am a korean, and even 15 friends of mine LOVE Twilight! That's Right!
don't say those shitty, crappy , fucking words... at least not in front of all the twilight fans, who could, by the way, come into your blog and read your annoying little taunt about twilight.
AS for your info, Kristen and RObert go SO~~~ well together...

cindiasaurus said...

This comment doesn't even make sense.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with your rant.

After reading the series, I was so excited to finally put a visual to the books that I love so much. To be able to see the faces that were chosen to represent Edward and Bella, and to hear their voices...I thought I would be in heaven.

But instead of a great movie to follow an amazing book, I was greeted with crappy acting, shitty makeup, horrible graphics and will forever mourn how beautiful the Cullens SHOULD have been.

It was not hard to get right....as you sai,d its laid out in clear view.

Perhaps New Moon will be better since there will be a new director.

Way to voice what move Twlight fans are thinking.

Anonymous said...

.....and to add, I am glad I was not the only one that was upset I did not have my vampire encounter after reading the books

foundcity said...

I agree with your rant too...Although I hardly found Robert Pattinson attractive at all (just a personal thing, I guess.), and I thought a lot of the dialogue seemed to sit within lengthy periods of awkward silences.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

OKKKK well i have a friend dats gay and OMG!! H3 was annoying ..every day at skewl omg i love twilight everyday and he kept sayin stuff about it and 1 day i was lik SHUT THE FUCK UP!! nd since he still said dat omg edward,omg bella,nd since i wasn't dat interested in twilight i already knew there names cuz of my friend's gay ass !! So that weekend i saw the book on sale so decided since i see posters everywhere nd here there names everywhere y not read the story and see wat all the chaos is about!! WELL LET ME TELL U DAT I ABSOLUTELY LOVE TWILIGHT THANKS TO mY gAY FRIEND !! ESPECIALLY EDWARD OMG HE IS sEXY!! well yea but i dnt really like the movie they didnt say there lines from the book but if they tried to do it exactly like the book i would have enjoyed it even better but either way doesnt matter because i also love twilight !! TEAM EDWARD ALL DAY BITCHES!! TEAM JACOB CAN SUCK A dICK!!